I work for a large, multinational, global corporation. It is, in reality, a corporation of whose products I am quite proud. I believe we offer the best product in the market place in the markets we compete in, and I am always ready to and happy to submit to a debate on those grounds.

I also am a graduate of the University of Oregon, and while that doesn't necessitate that I accept all the crazy liberal and anti-establishment goals that propagate the Eugene campus, I did escape with a strong sense of how businesses and government should participate in each other's realms.

I remember one day, a few years back, seeing an e-mail or an intranet post about my company's "Political Action Committee" and why it was absolutely necessary that we have one. I remember also thinking at that very moment that I was never going to get a more clear or vivid display of my personal convictions being subjugated in order for me to obtain a paycheck. I also recall thinking: "This is it. I officially work for a huge evil company."

The thing is, if you ask me if I think it's more important to uphold the integrity of your political system, of your political currency/agency as an individual than it is to uphold your individual lifestyle... I will absolutely say that I believe in the former.

In practice, few people live up to such lofty goals. I wish it weren't so, but alas.

So, a few years back, phrases like "we need to be seen to be doing something" started getting bandied about. It was in relation to a lot of different things internally, but one of the larger things was about writing blog posts.

The problem is, my personal feelings/opinions on the topics of the hour run quite contrary to the company line. I can write about the topics that are of concern to my company (and by extension, our customers), but to do so means that my words will be picked apart and sanitized for external consumption.

I fully understand and appreciate why this is necessary... both the blog demand internally as well as the need for a unified voice.

The thing is, there's no such thing. What I would very much like to see is an uncensored blog. An unfiltered offering, where internal debates are openly available for public scrutiny.

I don't think this will happen during my time at the company, but we'll see.

... it's been a while since I made an honest attempt to amuse Ari. Fortunately, this morning my friend Sonia sent me this link, making it easy:
A Mathematically Correct Breakfast: How to cut a bagel into two linked halves

I remember when I was still keeping this journal regularly (well, some degree of regularity anyway), one of the big reasons I liked doing it was because I could go back and recall memories in greater detail or at least in a slightly different light than time cast them in. I still go back and re-read entries from time to time. Sometimes I go back and discover how brilliant an insight I had, but about as often if not more so, reliving my old thoughts/experience makes me a little embarrassed about how nearsighted I was.

This cycle of slowly forgetting memories, coming back on a concrete reminder of them, and then seeing myself in a positive or negative light based on how I see that reminder and that version of myself... this will continue until I am too old to have memories any longer.

I'm looking back on my time in Japan, and I'm wishing I had been able to maintain this journal while there. I remember why I stopped, and it was the right decision at the time, but as it stands almost all that I have to remind me of the last 5 years or so sits on Facebook. I've nothing against Facebook, on the contrary I think it's a fantastic application. However, I'm missing the introspective component to my recollections.

I recently started watching Cowboy Bebop again. Somewhere I read "See you Space Cowboy..." and I had a need to see the series again. I'm watching it again now and noticing that memory is a hugely recurring theme. The idea that whoever you were in memory is a you that you were only then, and will never be again. Moreover, it's a you that isn't actually real to begin with, as your memory inevitably differs drastically from whatever the reality was at the time. Talking with others that remember you from the same era always leads to traits being ascribed to you that you didn't yourself think were warranted.

This is a theme I can't get enough of... and it's something I wrote about on this journal before. I never really could pinpoint what I loved about Cowboy Bebop, but this is absolutely one of the things that gets me every time. Every character in the series (minus Ed, I suppose) lives their life at least in part, if not on the whole, in their past. Or at least, the past as they remember it.